Sunday, December 15, 2013

I Wasn't Lying

Sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to Colorado to visit a sister I called my mom. I love talking with my mom. She is pretty amazing for putting up with me and listening to the many tears, rants, happiness, and whirlwind of life.

This conversation went a little differently. I started telling her about a guy. A guy that I was dating. How much we get along, how we just clicked and how natural it was to be with him. I was so dumbfounded that I actually said "Mom, I have always told my friends that the relationship should be natural and not forced. That they want to spend time, talk with, or kiss the guy." Even though I believed it and wanted it for my friends I couldn't believe that it actually could happen to me. I just started laughing on the phone with her because I realized that all those things I told my friends was exactly what I wanted it to be like AND IT IS!!!

I have dated many a man and have like many a man but this one made me feel different. He and I just clicked. He asked for my number and for our first date he fixed my car. Not only fixed my car but taught me how to do it. Which is huge because I love to learn and he was so patient and sweet with all my questions. I joke that I was just playing Vanna White but it was much more then that.

From there we just started talking every day. I didn't/don't get annoyed with him calling or texting me. Which in the past has done. The rolling of the eyes is only when he does something cheesy and makes me smile.

Also as I have previously stated in my blog about how the tough conversations need to be had before you get too attached held true. On our second/third (started out as a lunch date but ended up being an all day date) date we laid the cards out on the table. We did this because we both felt that this was something more than a date to date thing between us.

As you all know sharing my story can be tough and how are they going to handle the whole "chronic illness and possible death" conversation. He handled it like a champ. But I think it is only because of his life.  We just started talking and he asked "What would you say if I told you...." Now let's be honest at this point in the game of life everyone comes with baggage and a history. He is no different and I was taken back by the conversation.

He comes with 4 daughters and many other things. I am not going to lie it all took me for a whirlwind. It still takes me for a ride and I have moments of panic and stress but he is always so willing to help me understand who he is and so I am comfortable and feel safe. He doesn't hide things because he feels it will help me trust him. (Yeah he may have had his sister find my blog and give him a little heads up on that.)   ;)

Anyway what I am trying to say is that through all my years of single life I really wasn't lying with what I said. I knew relationships would be difficult and have hardships but man I didn't think it could also be so natural to be with someone.

Now don't worry there are not wedding bells just yet as we have a LONG way to go before I will be able to swallow that idea but for now he is exactly what I need. He always opens my doors, helps me with my coat, holds my hand for everyone to see, talks with me through my anxiety, (cause I may have freaked out a little when he told me he loved me) but most importantly he is someone I can trust because he has shown me who he is. He is not perfect and there will be challenges but I am not lying when I say it is natural and easy to be with him.

Look for those relationships that you don't have to hide or lie about who you are to make them feel better. I am back to my cheesy and geek self because he lets me be that. We just have fun because we can be ourselves around one another. This should be the case even with friends. Filters are good to have in some situations but for the most part those you spend the most time with really should know who you are....not the face that you put on.