Wednesday, October 16, 2013

What Will It Take?

What will it take for us to see
The glorious person God wants us to be
We seem to get stuck in the thick of thin things
Instead of looking for the blessings he brings

What will it take for us to see
The glorious person God wants us to be
He wants us to create and live his way
But we get stuck in the day to day

What will it take for us to see
The glorious person God wants us to be
While wars rage on to bring freedoms crown
We put on our music and hang our heads down

The race we call life will one day end
It scares me to think that I will not win
I will stand all alone wanting to cry
Because I knew better and didn't even try

The blessings I gave up to party and play
I thought I  knew better than God's way
The fight seems so difficult at times it consumes
But there must be a way to get past all this glum

Do we even know or understand
That the Great God above has a plan
We lack faith in ourselves as well as each other
And tear down the good of our neighbor and brother

What's even worse is that we don't see
His hand in our lives that leads to our destiny
He guides in loving patient reproof
Yet I try to direct it and then I lose

I lose part of myself each wrong turn
Hoping and hoping that I will return
Return to that girl who once had faith
The faith to move mountains and felt his loving embrace

Do we give up and give into sin
Once we do Satan will surely win
He won't win our soul at least not at first
But little by little we become his reserve

Will it take lightning, death or disease
To quickly humble us and put us on our knees
Where will we stand when he comes once again
I hope I don't hide and bury my sins

But if I am prepared I shall not fear
But rejoice in the fact that he comes so near
Aren't you concerned about the state of your soul
Why do you not look for what makes it whole

It's not on a shelf to be borrowed or bought
But inside each other and should be sought
So look to each other for the best things to give
Because each of us needs to forgive

What will it take for us to become
That glorious person in heaven above
We need to let go and trust in our God
That he know us all and helps us through love

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Knight in Shining Armor

As a woman I have watched many an hour of Disney princesses, romantic comedies, and the all too real love stories. I used to dream about my future husband and the characteristics I wanted in him. They consisted of both mental and physical things. Then I grew up and realized that the knight in shining armor or boy riding up on the motorcycle for a rescue does not exist. Nor would I want him to.

Let me explain why I don't want a knight in shining armor. He has NEVER seen battle. If he is riding up on a perfectly quaffed stallion with gleaming armor he doesn't know what life is. We say we want to be rescued or to be swept off our feet but really it becomes more of a knock you off your feet in a kind of dumbfounded way. Going from the strong independent woman to the need a man kind always throws me for a loop. Why can't they just continue in their lives the same way, just working together?

I have experienced and been through a lot in life. I would expect the same thing in a companion. Is he perfect... NOPE because I am not perfect. I don't always have myself put together. Often I am seen with my shoes half put on with an apple in my mouth digging for my keys in the morning. There is a part of us we would all like to hide or keep secret and sometimes that should be the case but on the whole the experiences and struggles in life have made us who we are. We all get sick, we have all sinned, we have all struggled, we have all had successes. They have each shaped and left a mark on our armor, which is not a bad thing.

Picture with me for a moment the story of Snow White. She had to runaway from the huntsman, get along with 7 dwarfs, cook, clean and all the time look over her shoulder for a woman who wanted her dead. While on the other hand we know very little about Prince Charming. (Not talking about Once Upon a Time show guy but the original Disney story.) We don't see his struggles to find her really. We see him all nice and clean opening the casket and kissing her to wake her up. Then riding off into the sunset on a beautiful white horse. There is no mud tracks on his clothing or horse. There is no hint of him working to find her. Just that he found her and kissed her and they lived happily ever after. This is probably one of the reason's I prefer Sleeping Beauty to Snow White. Prince Phillip fights the dragon and climbs a tower. aka works to wake Aurora.

So why do I not like this story? I don't like it because it makes me mad that after all Snow White did to fend off a witch and the huntsman, the man comes in and kisses her and all is well. Don't get me wrong I like a good kiss and like a guy to be there for me but it doesn't reflect on the reality of what it takes to get a "Happily Ever After." Did their problems end when they rode off? Was there a castle waiting with servants and easy street? Who knows.  All we can do is make conclusions.

For me I want a Knight in battered and rust colored armor. A person who has taken what life has given them and worked at what they wanted to create. Someone who is shaped by the war of life because he will understand why I am the way I am. It is all about understanding what got us to the point of meeting one another.

Men and women who come out smelling like roses at the end of the day never put their hands in the garden. They lightly touched the rose and smelled it but didn't work to grow it.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Is Timing Everything?

Time is something that is one of the mysteries of this life for me. There are minutes that seem like hours and years that seem like a blink of the eye. We all only have 24 hours in a day and yet it isn't the same amount every day. Anyone who knows me knows how I am about my clocks and being on time to things. I don't like to waste my time or anyone else's. It has caused a few tense conversations with friends and guys. I was raised to respect people's time and perhaps I take it to an extreme. In recent weeks time has been weighing on my mind so I did a little research on the idioms we often use regarding time.
Here are a few that stuck out to me.

Waste of Time
On time
Out of Time
It's About Time
What Time is it?
Time is on your side
No time like the present
Time flies when you are having fun
Time waits for no one
Right on time
Perfect timing
All in good time
It's all in the Lord's time

Many can be used in funny dating sayings or conversations but when it comes to actual dating it is usually used as a way to describe how we must be patient. As with the last idiom I mentioned, that is the one most used. At least in my experience and hearing. However, I feel like the first one when dating. Like I am wasting my time with dating and socializing.

Now now not saying that it is all a waste of time or that I don't/haven't learned a lot in my dating years but the first and the last really ring true to me. So I will focus more on those two in regards to my view of time and dating.

Let me start off by saying that there is such a thing as a waste of time date. We have all been on one. It is the pity date or the I am not doing anything else so I should just say yes date. There is a sort of anxiousness that comes with wasting time. We wait for the him to call. We wait for her to return said call and say yes. Then we go out and there is all this conversation and time getting to know one another. Again let me reiterate not all of it is a waste of time and these steps are needed to grow in a relationship. However, what becomes a waste of time is when you get to a point on a date or in your dating/courtship where it hits the lull. The lull of do we continue or do we breakup. This time of indecision can be one of fierce self speculation and criticism. It also can be a waste of time if the two of you don't communicate.

So much time is wasted in relationships not communicating. Assuming what the other one wants in a relationship doesn't do any good. Take the time to have the DTR talk.  (Define the Relationship) If you are both honest in the conversation then no time would be wasted. But to fear what the rejection or even the acceptance is wasting energy and time that most of us at this age don't have. (OK I am pretty much meaning me.)

Save time and the relationship by being yourself and opening up when the time is right. Either way you can move forward and not waste time on something that is not what you want. You may want more in the relationship and by golly they may as well.

Moving on to the Lord's time. In past and recent conversations this has been brought up MANY MANY times to me. People want to encourage by saying that it didn't work out because it wasn't the Lord's time. Let me be frank....It hasn't worked out because I haven't listened to the Lord's timing. I'll be honest there have been times when I knew what the Lord's timing was for me but I was fearful that I wasn't ready. Do I kick myself, a little, but I now know that is isn't about his timing for me but for the two of us and I need to be alright with allowing His/his timing to be right.

Timing in dating the right person is tough and practically takes a miracle. It is more then just making time for a date but time for each other. Are you both open to a relationship? Has there been enough time to get over the last one and not drag it into a new one? I could go on and on but I think you all know what it takes to make a relationship get off the ground. When offered the suggestion/advice of waiting on the Lord's time, take a deep breath and remember that it is more then just your watch to take into consideration.

Friday, October 4, 2013

We All Struggle

A cloud has recently lifted from my mind and body. When I am sick I tend to mope around and think of all the awful things that go wrong when I am sick. It is like a domino affect in my body that trickles into my mind and spirit. I tend to feel sorry for myself and don't like to be around people because I know I am not my normally happy self.

This round of health problems was no different but what I have learned was. We all struggle.  I am sure you are saying "Well DUH SSS this is not news to us." Perhaps it isn't but I hope to maybe remind you of the different faces we each wear during our struggles.

I will use myself as the example of faces as I can only speak for myself.

Face One: Brave face. This is the face I put on for people who I know struggle with sympathy or empathy for others. I do it because I know they can't relate or really feel what I am going through. They usual have had perfect health most of their lives and rarely if at all lost a loved one close to them. I use it  not to manipulate them but to guard them from what they may not be comfortable with.

I also put this face on when things are really bad. When I know that if I put on any other face people will see right through me and know that I am not good. I tend to put on the Brave Face to hide how scared I am of what is going on in my life. I will break down if I don't put this face on. It may also be considered my Lying Face because I will lie straight through my teeth to keep the Brave Face on.

Face Two: Happy Face. My fake smile and light voice. Don't get me wrong I am happy but there is a difference between being happy and putting on the happy face. I put it on to hide the insecurities or to keep things upbeat even though I may want to smack someone upside the head. My Happy face that I put on is not genuine. Those who know me can tell when I am truly happy and when the Happy Face is on. It is my "I am happy because I need to be, not because I am."

Face Three: Depressed/Sad/Angry Face. This one is my death stare down face. It tells you that you best walk away now because you are either going to get a landslide of words or the death stare that will burn through your soul. ;) It is not one that I like on me but as of late it has been the one used the most. Which is not a good thing as I know it is not my natural way of being which makes this face stay around longer. It is like a never ending cycle. Within this face I have no sympathy or empathy for others. In face I could careless what is going on around me. I want to be in my own world left alone to my own devices. Which may include the following: Ice Cream, Writing, Crying, Moping, and Hide in a Hole.

Face Four: Sheer Joy Face. I love this face. This face shows that I am just happy and joyful with sunshine radiating from my eyes. It greets you with a smile or a hug that is genuine and kind.  I wish this face would come around more often as it is the one that helps me understand others as well. Even with this face there are still struggles but for whatever reason they don't weigh me down when I have this face. The clarity, love, and contentment that come with this face help me get through some of the other faces. This face feels sorrow, pain, joy, radiance, and sadness but is calm in the storm.

We all have our struggles and faces to get us through. I am sure we put on many faces a day, quickly changing from one to another. We hide ourselves from others because we may not want to burden others with our problems, or don't like talking with others about it, or the other myriad of reasons to hide behind our faces. To hide behind our struggles.

In one of my darkest moments recently a wise friend told me they would switch places with me in an instant. I was taken aback because I would have loved to. In this particular struggle of mine I wanted more time. More time on earth to be with family, friends, learn, love more, and just be in this physical existence more. While my friend was happy to switch places and leave this frail existence. Their struggle is a long life while mine may be a short one. I quickly felt sorrow for my narrow mindedness in not seeing how what I may consider a struggle another would consider a blessing.

We all struggle, we all put on our faces to get us through but perhaps I should add one more face to my collection.....
Another's Face: This one would understand and truly feel another's struggles. This face would also see myself through their eyes and realize the potential they see in me or the love they have for me.