Monday, October 14, 2013

Is Timing Everything?

Time is something that is one of the mysteries of this life for me. There are minutes that seem like hours and years that seem like a blink of the eye. We all only have 24 hours in a day and yet it isn't the same amount every day. Anyone who knows me knows how I am about my clocks and being on time to things. I don't like to waste my time or anyone else's. It has caused a few tense conversations with friends and guys. I was raised to respect people's time and perhaps I take it to an extreme. In recent weeks time has been weighing on my mind so I did a little research on the idioms we often use regarding time.
Here are a few that stuck out to me.

Waste of Time
On time
Out of Time
It's About Time
What Time is it?
Time is on your side
No time like the present
Time flies when you are having fun
Time waits for no one
Right on time
Perfect timing
All in good time
It's all in the Lord's time

Many can be used in funny dating sayings or conversations but when it comes to actual dating it is usually used as a way to describe how we must be patient. As with the last idiom I mentioned, that is the one most used. At least in my experience and hearing. However, I feel like the first one when dating. Like I am wasting my time with dating and socializing.

Now now not saying that it is all a waste of time or that I don't/haven't learned a lot in my dating years but the first and the last really ring true to me. So I will focus more on those two in regards to my view of time and dating.

Let me start off by saying that there is such a thing as a waste of time date. We have all been on one. It is the pity date or the I am not doing anything else so I should just say yes date. There is a sort of anxiousness that comes with wasting time. We wait for the him to call. We wait for her to return said call and say yes. Then we go out and there is all this conversation and time getting to know one another. Again let me reiterate not all of it is a waste of time and these steps are needed to grow in a relationship. However, what becomes a waste of time is when you get to a point on a date or in your dating/courtship where it hits the lull. The lull of do we continue or do we breakup. This time of indecision can be one of fierce self speculation and criticism. It also can be a waste of time if the two of you don't communicate.

So much time is wasted in relationships not communicating. Assuming what the other one wants in a relationship doesn't do any good. Take the time to have the DTR talk.  (Define the Relationship) If you are both honest in the conversation then no time would be wasted. But to fear what the rejection or even the acceptance is wasting energy and time that most of us at this age don't have. (OK I am pretty much meaning me.)

Save time and the relationship by being yourself and opening up when the time is right. Either way you can move forward and not waste time on something that is not what you want. You may want more in the relationship and by golly they may as well.

Moving on to the Lord's time. In past and recent conversations this has been brought up MANY MANY times to me. People want to encourage by saying that it didn't work out because it wasn't the Lord's time. Let me be frank....It hasn't worked out because I haven't listened to the Lord's timing. I'll be honest there have been times when I knew what the Lord's timing was for me but I was fearful that I wasn't ready. Do I kick myself, a little, but I now know that is isn't about his timing for me but for the two of us and I need to be alright with allowing His/his timing to be right.

Timing in dating the right person is tough and practically takes a miracle. It is more then just making time for a date but time for each other. Are you both open to a relationship? Has there been enough time to get over the last one and not drag it into a new one? I could go on and on but I think you all know what it takes to make a relationship get off the ground. When offered the suggestion/advice of waiting on the Lord's time, take a deep breath and remember that it is more then just your watch to take into consideration.

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