Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Plowing the Road alone

I am a small town girl at heart. So often I use farming analogies or small town sayings where people look at me awkwardly. I don't mind my sayings and think that it is a little reflection on the funny things we remember from our childhood.

But I digress. This post is something that has been percolating in my mind for awhile. (as mos things/post do) I am having a jaw surgery coming up to correct a cleft palate and recessed chin. When the doctor explained to me what was going to happen in the surgery there were little beads of water coming out of my eyes along with a very elevated heart rate. This has been a long time coming and I am super excited for it to be around the corner but to have to face a lot of this by myself has been the toughest challenge.

I have wonderful family and friends who have rallied around me in support. They have offered words of encouragement as well as helping hands for when I am down for the count. As much as I have loved these gestures and words I have found that it is not the same as having a special someone to support and be there. Having my jaw wired shut for 2 weeks is scary enough because me not being able to talk for that period of time may just do me in. Let alone functioning to make food, shower, daily chores etc. I am super duper lucky to have a mom who can come take care of me for the first few days. This is a blessing to me. However, when I have my breakdowns of crying (which we all know will happen) what shoulder am I to turn to? I know there are friends that will be there but it is just not the same as a guys arms around you to comfort. There is something to be said for a physical touch from the opposite sex. It is can be calming and reassuring that things will be fine.

Life is a heavy journey with wagons full of problems, happiness, dips, turns, and whatever else you can think of. So why people would choose to plow the road alone is a mystery to me. I do love my life and the opportunities I have had to become strengthened  in holding the load on my own. But, when times like this approach it makes me wish that I had my own person to turn to. Putting the shoulder to the wheel and pushing along is so much easier with someone on the other wheel.

We are each given our trials and blessings in this life. Plowing the road alone just makes my shoulders stronger to bear up the next thing.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Needy or Needed

I am writing this blog to vent. Please realize it is just a vent and I am not filtering it because I feel that if I filter my post you wont' get the full affect of how confused and befuddled I am.

There are times like this past week where I just throw my arms in the air and ask "Are you serious?" Dating is seriously kicking my behind. If it is not a man telling me "You are just too busy" it is him telling me "You come off needy." Oh yes you heard the right, SSS, is apparently needy.

So I pose this question to those of you who know me or read my blog. What is the difference between Being Needy and Being Needed?

I have come the following conclusion. It is all about the perception. Whether it is a friend asking for help only once or for the hundredth time I really think it depends on what you think or what mental state you are in.

Everyone has an innate sense to be needed. Through time that can be squashed due to situations that have hardened their hearts. But for the most part, they want to help, lend a hand, comfort those who stand in need of comfort. However, when does being needed become needy?

                       Needy                                                                          Needed
Call/Texting Husband/Boyfriend 12 times before lunch.       Calling Him to ask what he wants for dinner.
Prying or coaxing compliments from someone.                    Giving a compliment.
Constant need to have someone there for you.                    Being there for others.
It is all about you. Drama is always your story.                    Share and listen to others.

These are just a few things I have thought up to tell the difference. However, some men think that they are interchangeable. Just because I want to talk to someone to get to know them does not make me Needy. At least not in my mind. I want to develop a relationship with them and how else am I supposed to do that. Do they need to respond right back. NO but a response is respectful. I like to learn how people communicate and once I do I am golden in figuring out what they need from me.

Now I may be completely off my rocker here but this is just what I have seen and experienced lately. I am not mad at the guy for calling me needy I was just shocked. We have not known each other that long and I think he is a great guy. Would like to date him but how do you get past the fact that he thinks I am needy? Seriously I am open to suggestions cause this girl is HORRIBLE at dating.

Communication is really all a woman Needs. At least all this woman needs. :-)