Monday, November 12, 2012

Needy or Needed

I am writing this blog to vent. Please realize it is just a vent and I am not filtering it because I feel that if I filter my post you wont' get the full affect of how confused and befuddled I am.

There are times like this past week where I just throw my arms in the air and ask "Are you serious?" Dating is seriously kicking my behind. If it is not a man telling me "You are just too busy" it is him telling me "You come off needy." Oh yes you heard the right, SSS, is apparently needy.

So I pose this question to those of you who know me or read my blog. What is the difference between Being Needy and Being Needed?

I have come the following conclusion. It is all about the perception. Whether it is a friend asking for help only once or for the hundredth time I really think it depends on what you think or what mental state you are in.

Everyone has an innate sense to be needed. Through time that can be squashed due to situations that have hardened their hearts. But for the most part, they want to help, lend a hand, comfort those who stand in need of comfort. However, when does being needed become needy?

                       Needy                                                                          Needed
Call/Texting Husband/Boyfriend 12 times before lunch.       Calling Him to ask what he wants for dinner.
Prying or coaxing compliments from someone.                    Giving a compliment.
Constant need to have someone there for you.                    Being there for others.
It is all about you. Drama is always your story.                    Share and listen to others.

These are just a few things I have thought up to tell the difference. However, some men think that they are interchangeable. Just because I want to talk to someone to get to know them does not make me Needy. At least not in my mind. I want to develop a relationship with them and how else am I supposed to do that. Do they need to respond right back. NO but a response is respectful. I like to learn how people communicate and once I do I am golden in figuring out what they need from me.

Now I may be completely off my rocker here but this is just what I have seen and experienced lately. I am not mad at the guy for calling me needy I was just shocked. We have not known each other that long and I think he is a great guy. Would like to date him but how do you get past the fact that he thinks I am needy? Seriously I am open to suggestions cause this girl is HORRIBLE at dating.

Communication is really all a woman Needs. At least all this woman needs. :-)


  1. It is funny how we all have this insatiable need to put people into categories isn't it? Unfortunately, by so doing, we are often totally wrong about who another person is. Even being married for almost 14 years now there are often times when either I or my husband will analyze the other person's behavior (recent or long-term)and come up with a nice,neat, and completely WRONG label. It is hard to know what that man was thinking when he decided on such a label (or if he was thinking at all), perhaps you might casually ask him. "Just what did you have in mind when you said I was needy?" A scary idea for sure, but then you will have the opportunity to at least have specifics to think about and decide whether they are fair or not. Just a thought...
    Best of luck to you whatever you decide to do!

  2. I would love to hear more about this guys definition of needy. Apparently he doesn't realize ALL women are needy. Some more than others, but we're ALL needy. And crazy! I think he's using that as an excuse because he's lame and doesn't know how awesome you are. But mostly because he's lame. If he really did like you, he could look past the fact that you are "needy".