As a woman I have watched many an hour of Disney princesses, romantic comedies, and the all too real love stories. I used to dream about my future husband and the characteristics I wanted in him. They consisted of both mental and physical things. Then I grew up and realized that the knight in shining armor or boy riding up on the motorcycle for a rescue does not exist. Nor would I want him to.
Let me explain why I don't want a knight in shining armor. He has NEVER seen battle. If he is riding up on a perfectly quaffed stallion with gleaming armor he doesn't know what life is. We say we want to be rescued or to be swept off our feet but really it becomes more of a knock you off your feet in a kind of dumbfounded way. Going from the strong independent woman to the need a man kind always throws me for a loop. Why can't they just continue in their lives the same way, just working together?
I have experienced and been through a lot in life. I would expect the same thing in a companion. Is he perfect... NOPE because I am not perfect. I don't always have myself put together. Often I am seen with my shoes half put on with an apple in my mouth digging for my keys in the morning. There is a part of us we would all like to hide or keep secret and sometimes that should be the case but on the whole the experiences and struggles in life have made us who we are. We all get sick, we have all sinned, we have all struggled, we have all had successes. They have each shaped and left a mark on our armor, which is not a bad thing.
Picture with me for a moment the story of Snow White. She had to runaway from the huntsman, get along with 7 dwarfs, cook, clean and all the time look over her shoulder for a woman who wanted her dead. While on the other hand we know very little about Prince Charming. (Not talking about Once Upon a Time show guy but the original Disney story.) We don't see his struggles to find her really. We see him all nice and clean opening the casket and kissing her to wake her up. Then riding off into the sunset on a beautiful white horse. There is no mud tracks on his clothing or horse. There is no hint of him working to find her. Just that he found her and kissed her and they lived happily ever after. This is probably one of the reason's I prefer Sleeping Beauty to Snow White. Prince Phillip fights the dragon and climbs a tower. aka works to wake Aurora.
So why do I not like this story? I don't like it because it makes me mad that after all Snow White did to fend off a witch and the huntsman, the man comes in and kisses her and all is well. Don't get me wrong I like a good kiss and like a guy to be there for me but it doesn't reflect on the reality of what it takes to get a "Happily Ever After." Did their problems end when they rode off? Was there a castle waiting with servants and easy street? Who knows. All we can do is make conclusions.
For me I want a Knight in battered and rust colored armor. A person who has taken what life has given them and worked at what they wanted to create. Someone who is shaped by the war of life because he will understand why I am the way I am. It is all about understanding what got us to the point of meeting one another.
Men and women who come out smelling like roses at the end of the day never put their hands in the garden. They lightly touched the rose and smelled it but didn't work to grow it.