Saturday, January 26, 2013

Can Men and Women Be "Just Friends?"

Recently I found on YouTube a video of college kids going around asking each other if boys and girls can just be friends. I was laughing so hard listening to the answers. For one it was a campus that has a high population of LDS/Mormons attending...and no it wasn't BYU. But what was cracking me up even more is how the girls were all sweet and innocent thinking that they can just hang out with their guy friends and all is well in the world. 

Whereas the guys were saying no. I am sorry sisters of the single life but those guys were totally right. It takes a lot to build a friendship and it is hard to let it go but let me just say from experience that guys and girls can be friends but not forever. Why you ask? Well let me just tell you how it plays out.

1. At some one if not both of you will wonder in your head if the other person likes you more than just a friend. You/They will think "We have such a great time together could there be more?" Unfortunately this mainly applies to the women of the friendship. We think this because we tend to go for a guys personality more than anything and through friendship we tend to find men more attractive as we get to know them.

2. Men are hormonal. Don't get me wrong women are too but lets be honest here they are going to think at some point "Is she a good kisser?" And I am keeping this PG but you get the idea. They are attracted to the physical and if one of their girl friends just so happens to look extra cute one day that is what will run through their mind. But it doesn't go past that...they aren't thinking long term here ladies. They just think you are cute, hot, sexy, or whatever for that minute and wonder what it would be like to be a little physical with you. 

3. I have had my fair share of guy friends. They are great and hopefully they all know that I wouldn't change them for the world but to say I hadn't looked at each of them as a potential mate would be a lie. There I said it...HUGE confession there. Most of them never ever went past that thought but truly it went through my head at some point or another within the beginnings of getting to know them. Most women can't separate from this thought and keep looking for that potential. I on the other hand see their potential and try to set them up with someone who I think would be a great fit. (A thorn in my poor parents side...their daughter the match maker of everyone else but herself.)

4. There are occasions where men and women can be friends. I am good friends with a few of my ex-boyfriends but it took and still to this day takes A LOT of communication and going over boundaries and making sure we were on the same page and not reading into anything. So it can be done but trust me it takes a very honest and true friendship in order for this to work. Most of the time it just explodes and sadly it is usually the women who end up a little battered and torn because we naturally take on the situation ourselves.

At the end of the day when thinking about my guy friends/boyfriends I say to myself "Could I live without this person?" In the end we truly only have one eternal and true friend. Don't feel bad if you don't stay friends with those guys or girls. You didn't date for a reason and hopefully they will find someone that make them happy. Men and women can be friends but trust me at some point your relationship will change. You can't stay friends forever with all those cute guys. Also guys you can't keep hanging out with those girls thinking that they are just fine with how things are...cause they probably dying a little inside when you ask someone else out on a date but hang out with them on a weeknight. Just sayin!!!

Here is the link to the video...please watch it is funny.

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